Thursday, September 22, 2005

Reality Bites

The fall television season is upon us, and we are again inundated with reality television shows. Big Brother, and The Amazing Race are back, soon to be followed by the inevitable bimbo/mimbo chasing shows The Bachelor and The Bachelorette. But the "big-time" shows are the ones that really bother me: Survivor and The Apprentice.

Survivor started it all. Thanks. My life was meaningless until I was given the chance to watch sixteen idiots eat bugs. The concept is actually interesting. Sixteen people trying to survive a wilderness setting, and competing to be the winner. Fair enough. But a few years ago, one contestant fell into a fire and got burned. Instead of trying to "survive" he was airlifted to safety! How is that "surviving"? And besides, if there was ever anyone in real danger, there's a camera crew FIVE FEET AWAY TO HELP THEM!!! What a crock! You want to make the show exciting and something I'd maybe consider watching, actually have a situation where someone could actually DIE!

The Apprentice. Donald Trump's hair is about the only exciting thing about this farce. It's a so-called sixteen person interview to get the best candidate to run a division of Trump's empire. To do so, the contestants have to form teams and perform tasks, which usually end up being the women using their sex appeal to win. Does Mr. Trump not have any qualified people already in his employ in these divisions that could make managers? Are his employees so inept that they can't be trusted with management responsibilities? What does this say about his hiring practices if this is true? Lastly, his catch phrase 'You're Fired.' If it's an interview supposedly, how can you fire them when they aren't your employee?

If this wasn't bad enough, NBC had to do a spinoff with a convicted felon, Martha Stewart, ostensibly following the same philosophy as the original. Commit insider trading, get a television show. Who says crime doesn't pay?

People. Please don't delude yourselves into thinking that these shows aren't scripted. But even beyond that, if you don't believe that, also keep in mind that these reality shows are game shows - no better, no worse, than Wheel of Fortune, Price Is Right, or Card Sharks.

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